Welcome to February's blog, this month I will have been working at my new job for a month. I have always found change or elements of mystery have really affected my anxiety. This makes sense as anxiety is the body’s way of dealing with stress, being with someone who has anxiety; it means these things can be difficult for me.
Knowing what triggers you is great, the thing that shows strength is how you manage the emotions. I have seen some people surrender to them and other try and fight them, in my opinion both of these are unhealthy. Surrender means that you are allowing your emotions take over and control your life, which means you won’t have a quality of life and will miss out on many great opportunities.
Fighting your emotions isn’t the option either because the emotional part of your brain is the strongest and being that means without the correct training can react quicker meaning that your feelings arnt always rational or healthy. I know from experience I have a list of experiences where my emotions go the best of me, it wouldn’t also be unrealistic to think that it will not happen again.
I strongly believe acceptance is the best and most achievable way of managing your feelings, it isn’t just about say "yes, I feel sad" it’s about saying "I am feeling sad, sad is only a feeling" and knowing that it is only a phase and what you need to do to help. It is about working with your emotions and learning your triggers so you can react in a healthier way. This doesn’t mean you won’t feel sad because feeling sad or any emotion is ok and natural.
A better way of explaining this is talk about the big change for me, changing job. I have had many low and high moments are my now old job, I knew and know that a new job was needed but that diddnt make it any easier. Changing jobs has always been a very anxious time for me for many reasons and in the past has kept me at a job because I simply didn’t want to deal with the emotional side. This was the avoidance or surrender taking control because it is scared of the power house which is your emotions. Mid-late last year I finally got real motivation to finish my diploma which was keeping me there, I managed to completed 50% of it in like 3 months and book my final assessment. While I waited for my end point assessment I thought I would look around for a new job, these things take time so made sense to start looking. Much to my surprise two companies came back the same week and offered me interviews which I admit I am famous for bombing. I think once and awhile with the jobs I did get I was just lucky to get the right questions, this time with these interviews felt different because I felt confident walking in and had no moments of panic. I got offered my first choice of a job, which is going really well. The feeling of being empowered believed in and trusted. The feeling the management are giving me is priceless, I suddenly believe in my ability at work again and feel it is being recognised is priceless. I know you cannot expect it and expecting it is unhealthy and needing it is unhealthy but at the same time I believe everyone needs it.
Working in the care industry the service user being happy and safe is the most important thing, second being how you feel about your own performance. If the service user likes you, you make them happy and keep them safe and you feel you do the best you can to do this then you should be happy at work. This is what I try to tell myself and everyone tells me, but if this is the case why does management’s lack of faith overshadow the positives and make me feel terrible.
As in all new role and working pattern, the first few weeks is tiring physically and mentally but this will fade. After change comes adjustments happen to help you manage and deal with whatever came from the change. The scary part is when you make the change, is not fully knowing what you’re changing too but knowing it is the right change. Obviously there will be times when a change doesn't turn out to be positive, but sadly that is a risk we take. Not all changes in life comes by choice, which can be very scary and how we deal with them shows our resilience.
Sometimes it worries me how badly I can deal with change, like losing a friendship group or change in routine. People/friends and things come and go, the important thing is how you deal with that change, how you bounce back. I know I often don't respond well to it but I believe I adapt and deal with whatever comes after. Obviously there will always times when a change comes and you feel you cannot cope. If you find yourself in that situation where all hope is lost, there will always be ways to rise up. There is help and support out there or something can be done for example leave the job, find or lose some friends or therapy.
“The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New”
Socrates
My question for this month is "what change have you had to deal with which you felt you couldn't cope with and how did you overcome that challenge?"